I've been experiencing "the want" again. I am seeing a lot of friends and acquaintances getting pregnant with their number two and I wonder when or if my number two will come along. My heart is up to its old trics, convincing my brain that, as the end of each cycle approaches, I am indeed pregnant. Sigh. Cold reality hits again and again as I realize I am indeed not pregnant.

I know I would be ok if we just had Matteo for the rest of our lives. He is the biggest joy and would fulfill my motherly needs wholeheartedly. But...how do I stop the want?

I am thankful, everyday I say a little prayer of thanks for the life and family I have. I know there are couples out there that struggle, as we did, to have a baby. They will continue to struggle and it's as if we won the lottery with Matteo. I just need to pinch myself when I start living in the future instead of in the now.