IVF
Pros:
Biological baby
Hopefully thereby getting another even tempered baby to match Matteo
Wouldn't take too long 1-2 months
Cons:
Money $15-20K
Medicine. Lots of it.
The chance that we would not get a baby out of it. (Big one!)
Adoption
Pros:
A very likely chance that we will get a baby (guaranteed?)
Helping out a child and birth mother in need
Cons:
Not a biological child
Possible health issues/Behavioral issues
Cost $10-15k
The wait period 1-3 years, maybe longer
I feel really selfish about my thoughts on adoption. It scares me to think that maybe the baby we would adopt would somehow not fit into our family and throw off our great balance. Of course I realize our second biological child could do the same. I don't know, in my head it would be different. I also would like to think that if we did adopt a high needs baby we would be able to handle it, and even rise to the occasion, but it is one of my considerations. IVF would be great if it was guaranteed. No guarantees in this life, don't we know that! But they know our issues, they know how to work with them so I feel our chances are pretty good. If we fail with IVF though, I think I can safely say we'd be done. Out of the game. Whereas with adoption we'd have a baby. Aye, I could go back and forth all day! Hopefully, sometime in the coming year we can gain some sort of clarity on the issue.
Daniele Valois | February 4, 2012 at 1:28 PM
I don't know what your answer should be. Of course that is a personal decision. Wouldn't feel great to save a child but then can you handle what may come? Will you be able to love the same? I think if you've never had a biological child and all kids were adopted then your love is the same but can that child feel the same love from you as you give Matteo? I personally don't know if it possible. You body feels a natural love an instinct from the child that you created and birthed. ...I know sooooany people who are not close to their siblings at all. I don't feel my life is bad bc I don't have one. And if I did would we even be close??? Very possibly not. And with adoption if it is three years away. There would still be quite a gap in age. Just some thoughts floating around.
kwishes | February 4, 2012 at 7:11 PM
I never thought about the love factor. I of course would think the love would be equal and I know Matteo would love his adopted bro/sis just the same. Mark worries that the baby's birth has the potential to harm the baby without us knowing. Smoking, drugs, no prenatal care, etc. That's not my worry either. I just want a good fit for our family, and of course, you can't test drive a baby :P
I know that not all siblings get along, but that doesn't stop me from wanting Matteo to experience being a big brother. I think he'd do great and be such a great role model.
Still much to think about!!